1789 Capital jumped from basically nothing to $3.5 billion in AUM. They're pitching themselves as "patriotic capitalism" and calling their own shots the next Carlyle Group. The portfolio reads like a who's who of hot companies: Ramp, Deel, Groq, Reflection AI, SpaceX, xAI. All riding the MAGA wave while daddy holds office. This is just pure grift. Investment returns that absurd don't happen in a year without insider access and a president who can move markets by tweeting. It's the Carlyle Group playbook but dumber and more obvious about it.