NVIDIA just dropped Vera, a new CPU for "agentic AI," and they're screaming "80% faster agentic task completion" like that's a sentence that means something. It doesn't. "Agentic task completion" isn't a real benchmark. It's marketing jargon designed to sound technical while saying absolutely nothing about what this chip actually does or whether anyone needs it. They built a CPU for the mythical "AI factories" everyone's supposed to get excited about, but the real story is simpler: Nvidia's cornered the market so completely they can now sell you whatever they want and call it progress. 80% faster at what, exactly? Faster than what baseline? Against what real workload? This is what happens when one company owns the entire narrative around an industry. They get to define the metrics. We're supposed to just nod along.