The Zuckerberg speedrun of humiliation: • Learn Mandarin and give speeches in China to prove you're serious • Put Xi Jinping's book on your desk, make employees read it • Ask Xi to name your baby. No. • Host Chinese officials at Facebook. Still no. • Try to bring Facebook back. Rejected. • Build China-friendly censorship tools. Rejected. • Quietly test a China-only app. Rejected. • Buy an AI company with Chinese roots. Rejected again. Meta just got blocked from a $2 billion AI acquisition. This isn't business strategy, it's watching a billionaire repeatedly throw himself at a door that won't open while pretending it's all going according to plan.